The Magic of Christmas

On Thanksgiving, we had a family dinner of course, and my aunt and cousin who live in town came to eat with us too. We were sitting around talking, and the subject of the holidays came up. My cousin said that as a kid she would get excited about the "magic of Christmas," but it's gone now that she's an adult. She stated the Halloween is her favorite holiday now and she could go from it to tax time (skipping Christmas) and be fine. That conversation has been rolling around in my head for a couple weeks now, and I began to wonder how many people feel the same as my cousin towards Christmas. We tend to get caught up in presents, decorations, "exterior illumination" as my dad calls it, parties, baking, and countless other things that we get stressed out over. I think we as a nation have lost sight of the true "magic" of Christmas. The manger. A baby that was born to a virgin and who would become the savior of the world 33 years later. Jesus is the magic of Christmas. I love Christmas because this time of year tends to strenghten my faith like no other. For me, the season brings into focus the miracle of not only Jesus' birth, but also his life and death. In recent years, the government had tried to eliminate the real reason for the season by trying to erase the very word "Christmas." Store greeters can no longer say, "Merry Christmas," for fear of losing their jobs. Public establishments can't put out nativity scenes or hang Christmas signs because that might "offend" someone. It's saddens me greatly that our nation has come to this, but I refuse to forsake the real reason for the season...the "magic." The magic isn't about presents or dinners or decorations, it's about a little baby boy sleeping in a food trough with all the smelly animals ;)
With that I say Merry Christmas and God bless. Remember to keep your focus on Jesus this season :)

The view from my window-a silent monologue

Just a few minutes ago, I happened to look out my window while firing up my ipod, and I saw a neighbor outside having a conversation. At first, I thought she might have been rehearsing something because there was no one else out there, and it didn't look like she was holding up a phone. At the same time, the song "What Love Really Means" by JJ Heller began playing. I began to notice that this woman was in fact on the phone and having an animated discussion to say the least. She was pacing and pointing and pantomiming...it was clear that the conversation wasn't very pleasant even though I couldn't hear a word of it. As the song kept playing, I began to truly understand the impact of this song that was being played out before my eyes across the street. I didn't mean to pry on her business, but I couldn't help but watch as the narrative of the song became so real and vivid like in a silent film. I began to wonder if this is how God watches us as we struggle through imperfect and hurtful relationships just begging and longing to feel what love truly feels like. How we just keep striving and doing all these meaningless things in order to feel worthy of love or trying to keep the love of others. It's like I could just feel God calling out to her saying, "I'm right here, get off the phone and listen." I wish all of you could have been here to witness this because it was such a potent illustration of what God has been saying to us for a couple thousand years..."I love you. I love you so much that I will send my son to take your sins and stains and die because I love you that much." What's truly interesting is that I have no idea how my ipod starting playing that song because it was set on a completely different artist nowhere near JJ Heller in the list.  ;)

Reality bites!

I don't know if you're like me, but I have a vivid imagination. I can dream up people, places, scenarios, etc. that don't make sense to anyone but me lol. Maybe that's why I want to write a book someday, I don't know. Anyway, I've noticed that at times when reality seems bleak (such as trying to find a new job in this dismal market), I escape into my mind more often. Now, this may seem alarming to some of you psychological types, but I assure you I can distinguish between reality and fantasy lol. It's just that the world I imagine myself in is always 10 times better than my reality. God has called my attention to the fact that while imagination is good, it's not a good place to live. There was a point where I was too busy dreaming of what could be, and not enough time dealing with what is. I would get frustrated/depressed with my life because I was imagining myself in these outlandish scenarios that were unrealistic. Like being a rockstar, actress, world-saver, etc. I realize that what I was doing was a form of coping called "escapism." It's kind of like the mentality that says, "I reject your reality and create my own." Don't get me wrong, I think it's awesome to dream and create fantastical things, but I think that we should also keep our feet on the ground when our heads are in the clouds. If that line sounds familiar, yes, it's similar to a line from the song, "Brick by Boring Brick," by Paramore. In fact, it feels like they wrote that song about me lol. Well, I write all this to say that you should keep dreaming and imagining, but you shouldn't let it replace your life. After all, we are living in the here and now and not some fantasy land. So if the call of imagination because too hard to ignore, it's time to "bury the castle."  :)

From the mouths of babes

I work at a preschool, and we're always laughing at funny things kids say, so I thought I'd share some with you!

"Today is my Grandma's birthday. She's 16."

"Imblinapolis" (an attempt to say Indianapolis)

When Davey Jones died I remarked, "I loved the monkees!" To which a preschooler replied, "I like lions."

"I can't do any more work, it makes my belly hurt."

When we asked them what they wanted to be when they grew up, the most popular response was "dog catcher," but we also have a girl who wants to be a "fairy." :p

My mother popped her head in the class to say hello, and of course I said, "Hi Mom." One of the girls asked me why I called her mom and I told her that was my mommy. We went on to a different topic, but you could see she was pondering my response. A few minutes later she asked me, "How can you have a Mommy when you're big?" I replied, "I used to be little like you." She thought that was the most amazing thing...that a grown-up was ever a child. They make me feel so young! :)

May the odds be ever in your favor...

I've been thinking about the Hunger Games lately as I am a huge fan, but I must say it goes deeper than that. See, every once in awhile a movie or book (or both) comes that really grabs me. I'm talking about obsessive thinking grabs me. That rarely happens to me, but I always come to realize that the movies or books that really cause me to obsess are the ones that I identify with on a deep level. This probably happens to everybody, but I had a hard time sleeping last night because I was pondering the significance of the Hunger Games trilogy in my life. I've come to realize that I often feel like Katniss, struggling to survive in a cruel world where horrible circumstances have happened to me that were out of my control, and I'm just trying to do my best to survive. Now if you know me, you may think, "How has anything awful happened to her?" On the outside, yes, my life seems pretty swell (haha, love that word), but there are things that have happened that I wouldn't wish on my worst enemy. I won't go into details, but let's just say that they screwed me up pretty good, and I'm still recovering from the aftermath. I often feel like I'm in an arena where nature and people are working against me. I'm thankful for my real-life "Peetas" in my life, but I often feel so alone in this fight. Granted, things are way better than they were a couple years ago, but I often feel like Katniss sitting in a tree near dead inside, just waiting on that parachute to help me make it another day. I often pray to God for direction, but I always feel like He's telling me "hold that thought." I'm beginning to trust Him more in His perfect timing, but I still struggle. On the bad days I often feel like Katniss, staring up at the sky and saying, "What more do I have to do to get a parachute?!" However, you may recall from the movie or books that Haymitch always sent her that life-saving parachute at precisely the right moment as if saying, "Trust me, I know what I'm doing." It brings me such hope to know that God knows even more than Haymitch when to send that parachute. I say all this not just to comfort anyone reading this, but also to remind myself that God is in control, and He'll give me what I need or point me to it at the right moment. Until then, we just need to hang on and continue to survive...just like Katniss. :)

My first blog!

So hello and welcome to my first blog!! If this post is boring and stinks like day old dog poo, forgive me. I'm a rookie after all. So, I call this blog inside my head because that's where I'll be writing from...giving you an insight into my mysterious brain. Today I've been thinking of mailmen and why I don't like mine right now. You see, I'm sure he's nice, but he seems kind of lazy. He brings me my mail yes, but he doesn't always pick up my outgoing mail. I'm okay with leaving it in there for a day, sure, but today I had enough. I've had mail in my box for 3 days. 3 days!! It's not like this is the first time he forgot to take my mail either. I was ranting in my head on my way to the drop box by the post office and wondering if I ought to march in there demanding he pick up my mail or else...or else...sigh. You can't really threaten to not mail anything anymore haha. So today's lesson is the tried and true if you want something done right, don't wait for the mailman.