People who have anxiety know how disruptive and frustrating it is. Panic attacks and sudden feelings of being overwhelmed are hard to manage, especially when they can come up suddenly and for no reason at all sometimes. I had a mild panic attack the day I made my blog public. It didn't happen right away. It happened, ironically, as I was watching a horror/suspense movie. The movie wasn't all that scary, so I was wondering why I was feeling so anxious and overwhelmed. I connected it to posting my blog to Facebook as that took me to a place of vulnerability I don't usually let people see. I get frustrated and feelings of uselessness and worthlessness take hold in my head because my anxiety gets in the way of so many things and just life in general. I had to quit my last job because I would have crippling anxiety attacks at work that would last for hours. It was exhausting, and I couldn't really hide the attacks from my boss or coworkers any longer. It's embarrassing to admit that anxiety has caused such havoc in my life, but I also know there are so many others like me suffering in silence or ridiculed because we should somehow be able to just "pull yourself together." Why, yes, thank you Captain Obvious for that oh so helpful tip. Anxiety, like many mental health disorders, are just so misunderstood because, most of the time, there is no outward sign that anything is wrong. A friend posted a picture the other day of brain scans from people who had different mental health disorders. It was refreshing, in a way, to finally see the "evidence" so to speak. We are not making it up. We are suffering, and our brains show it. So the next time you have a panic/anxiety attack or are feeling useless because your anxiety is interfering with life, remember that you are not alone in this fight. Just because your ailment may be "invisible" doesn't mean it doesn't matter or doesn't exist. If you can't just pull yourself together, it is okay. I'm with you...and ignore all the people who are ignorant to your circumstances. People like to talk about a lot of things they don't understand. Your feelings matter.
Song of the day: "Breathe" by Jonny Diaz
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